The past weeks has been really rough. Tiresome days and sleepless nights. It is finally over. Summer's here. I am mentally drained, physically drained and emotionally drained. I deserve a pat on the back because I survived those stressful weeks ALIVE. I am so excited to get bored! On the other hand we know that finals is over but what comes after that? Resuuuults!!! BOOM! The ever so famous in demand bulletin board shall be visited from time to time. Photos of it shall flood your notifications. And you'll silently wish that your student number won't be on the list.
Lately I have been feeling these mixed emotions. I feel sad yet happy. I feel frustrated but secured.
SAD:
If I won't make it, it would really break heart. Yes failing makes me sad but the reason behind it is that IT WILL NEVER BE EASY TO LET GO OF THE THINGS THAT YOU ARE ATTACHED TO. Those four years in college is really something worth keeping. It's like seeing each one of you grow, seeing how one helped each other out. We all know that by the end of each semester someone leaves. And that cycle has really been a tiresome one.
HAPPY:
Yes even though this semester has been really difficult; with those endless requirements and those tests that felt like a death note everytime I see them... I can say that overall I am happy because I know I learned A LOT and I LOVE MY FIELD MORE AND MORE. I believe that it isn't the grade that will define you. High grades don't matter for as long as you gained something from all the lessons that your professors taught you. And you learned from the mistakes that you committed.
FRUSTRATED:
It is really frustrating to see yourself still failing even though you've pushed yourself so much just to meet the demands. Sometimes it's just not enough.
SECURED:
For all the reasons to be down. I have a weapon to use and it's God. I may have BIG PROBLEMS but I have a BIG GOD. And He's greater than anything; than anyone else. Yes I find my security in Him. Cos I know whatever situation I might be in, wherever I may be. I know He's there. He will always be there.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" -Joshua1:9
God and His amazing ways.
You just have those amazing ways on how you touch someone's life
I've been crying lately. I was always worried. No matter how much I tried to hold back the emotions I can't control it. I thought I was okay for quite sometime then something triggered me again. And brought my emotions back. Do you get that feeling that you just don't want to talk about it cos even yourself is tired of the reason of having those feelings? Just cry it out and pray it out...
Number one struggle: WORRYING
Matthew 6:25-34 Do Not Worry
27-"Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
33-"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well"
Who would have thought that someone can make a change with what you are feeling with just simple words? Coming from a person who isn't really that close to you. Isn't it amazing on how God uses people to make a change in someone's life?
We actually know what's the right thing to do. Its just sometimes we tend to do what's wrong. Or maybe we just needed to hear it from others and just be reminded that:
"Hey, I am here. I will always be here.
Don't you worry because I have a plan for you"
-God
My friend asked me what if I get to have my dream car... but I won't be driving it. It would be God who'd be the one to drive. I will let him take over. Yes there would be some turns, probably a zigzag road, some humps yeah might be a very bumpy ride. Will I worry? Should I worry? Definitely not. Cos it's God. So just like in our life, if we let God take over, we shouldn't worry. For He promised to prosper our lives. For now we only see a portion of what our lives may be. But He sees everything. For it is finished.
TO WHOM SHALL YOU HOLD ON TO?
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with surging" -Psalm 46:1-3
My favorite song :)
Even when you can't imagine how
How you're ever gonna find your way out
Even when you're drowning in your doubt
just look beyond the clouds
Whatever may happen. Pass or fail Lord, I will continue to bring you praise
Thank You for everything
I love you always, Lord. ALL WAYS >:)<
