Say Goodbye to Teenage Years

THIS BLOGPOST MAY BORE YOU

But you may learn from it though :)

Have I been living my life to the fullest? Have I been a good person? Years have gone so fast. We can't even tell until when are we gon be alive. Being a teenager was the peak of what could mold you as you grow older. It may define how you view things. I think I've gone through the phase where I screwed up and be all that happy-go-lucky girl. Before, I tend to just act according to what I want. And now, I can say, I act according to what is right. Lifestyle change, it's really difficult to turn your back to what you're used to. People are naturally resistant to change. But hey, there's no harm in trying and most especially when you know it is for the better.

For those people who knew me way back in gradeschool/highschool, you know how much I have been distant to my family. Being expressive to my feelings was really not my thing. I find it awkward to speak for what I feel. And they say "Strict parents make sneaky children" YES YES. I KNOW. I have been really sneaky. I do a lot of things that they didn't know. I didn't want them to worry and I know they're just looking after me. But I know my limits and I know they wouldn't understand.

BUT TO TELL YOU,

It is really true.

"Sana nakinig nalang ako sa nanay ko"

Parents know what's the best for us. Maybe you wouldn't accept the fact they're right for now. But sooner or later you'll understand. Specially when we're already in their shoes.

I've done stupid mistakes and they actually make good stories to tell everyone. My life is an open book. I'd rather tell you what I've gone through with all honesty than to let people guess and believe all those false notions about me.

Saying goodbye to teenage years... 19 now. then 20 21 22 23... Ohmyyy. Two more years then we'll be graduating (Yes, I'm claiming that! Two more years!!) Then working, then what? Marrying age? Shocks time flies so fast.

ANYWAY. I've been talking so much. I would like to tell you more but I'll save it for my next posts :)
Have to move my ass now, Hello CRS week! :D

Alive and Kickin'

I think it's already 4am and here I am still awake. Still studying. I am not sleepy at all good thing our test would still be in the afternoon. I have 12 more hours to go. I really hope I get enough grades to pull my grades up. I don't want to fail again /WRIST

Oh well for the majority of Team Irreg it would be their last test tomorrow. Oh I mean later. As for me, I still have my last test on Wednesday. Boohoo poor me. But I'm really excited for this year's CRS Week :D What could possibly happen? I miss my old batchmates. We'll finally get the chance to spend time with each other. Hoorah!

I'M LOOKING FORWARD FOR THIS WEEKEND :D
Saturday will be my birthday and the next day will be my Mom's arrival. Woooohh! I missed her :)
Alright! I'm gon get back to studying Neuroanatomy :) GOODLUCK!!

Fat Kid at Heart

I'M SKINNY AND I KNOW IT! :)))))

I consider myself blessed for I don't get fat even though I have an appetite of a man. Oh Lord you must really love me. Well obviously I'm the type of person who spends too much for food. I always make sure that I get to satisfy my cravings. 

They say, the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach... 

MAYBE I'M A MAN TOO! LOL.

I like being pampered through food. I prefer receiving food as a gift/treat from others than any other material things (except Hello Kitty of course). Haha I'm such a pig. Everytime someone gives me food OHMYGOSH seemed like a ray of light just flashed into my eyes ooooohhh how I love food this much. So if gaining weight was just easy for my body maybe I'm a really fat kid right now. LOL

Ohhhhh if only I can marry these food :))
(hehe my favorites ♥) 

On second thought, I don't actually like being this skinny :( I really want to gain weight. FYI I am just 40kg. Can you just imagine how heavy I am? Seems like HEAVY isn't even the word to describe my weight. Okay let's do it again... Can you imagine how light I am??! LOL. Paper-weight kiddo.

Truth Hurts

Why now? Why are these things coming up just now? I'm having this feeling that I don't have the right to feel bad about it and rant about it. But if you were at my place maybe you'll understand. I have this question in my mind and it has always been in my mind for a long time. WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPERIENCE ALL OF THESE? I have done nothing wrong to you. I have been good. I can actually claim that. Time has healed my heart; I have forgiven the people who hurt me. And it sucks to know just now. To know that you lied to me. This is not a lie that you can let it pass just like that. This thing is such a big deal. If only I knew by that time maybe I could have saved myself from getting hurt even more.

The sad thing is that everyone knew about it EXCEPT ME.
You might say that you don't want me to know because you don't want me to get hurt. But what do you think am I feeling right now?
You don't want to get involved too. Yes I get that. But seeing your friend suffer and letting her know about it might save her? Did it not even hit your mind?

I'm not mad at anyone. I just hate what I am feeling right now.
THIS FEELING SUCKS
I just want it to pass.

What has changed?

Two days without electricity made me read these.

My planner slash diary from 2009 to 2012

I love expressing my thoughts through writing. Whenever I think about something deep I would always have a pen and a paper. I would try to write the problem, the effect on me, the possible solutions and what I think is the right thing to do regardless of my feelings. I love to think. THINK THINK THINK. And yes, that's the problem... I usually overthink.

Reading page by page brings back the memories of what happened all those years. I get so amazed everytime I try to look back on things that had occurred and I am now trying to see what it brought me this far. I can really say that I have no regrets. I missed out on people, let the good ones passed by my hand and I made mistakes but I know at some point in my life that's what I wanted. I've seen myself so hurt, people have witnessed that too. That pain I experienced made me this tough. I may have cried for so many times but that doesn't make me weak for I know I've fought so hard for what's already dying. That's being brave; being ready to face and endure the pain. 

As the years gone by, I learned how to cope up better with what the world has given me. I also learned how to treasure the people who never leave my side through good times and bad. I have a lot of friends and I am so blessed I've met them. I would like to state all their names here but I don't want to miss out on anyone so let's just leave it like that ;)

I'm done with the "downside" of my life. It was so hard to bring back the pieces of what had been broken for quite awhile. It was really tough at first; I didn't even thought of being able to get back on track that fast. I am really happy with my life now. Setting goals and priorities. And doing something to attain my dreams. That's what truly matters.

It doesn't matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you get up :)

To the Man I love the Most :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDUGO :)

Today is August 6, 2012 and it's my father's birthday. Happy birthday Dad wherever in the world you are

 I miss you and I love you sooooo much. I hope you're always safe :)

When I was a kid they kept on asking me these two questions: first, when's the birthday of Mang Mar (our service driver) and I could answer right away... MARCH THREE! then second, when is my Dad's birthday and I can't actually remember it and everyone laughs at me for not knowing it. What-a-daughter :| Boohoo.

BUT DON'T WORRY DAD, I REMEMBER IT NOW :)))) I'm such a good child :)))

Even though we haven't spent much time together or even talk on a regular basis. I want you to know that I am so proud that you are my father. Nagmana ako sayo eh? Kaya tayo "Sandugo" eh? At sure ako na sayo ko namana pagiging iyakin ko! :)))) I love you Dad! Thank you for all the sacrifices you've done for this family. Someday I can payback, I would treat you guys and hopefully I can take you out of the country cos I know you want to live there or build a house somewhere in Tagaytay or Baguio. (So many dreams that I hope I can achieve)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Uwi na kayo ni mommy miss na namin kayo ni kuya :)

Here's another picture of my Dad

BTW, ang payat mo dito :)))))