When things fall apart

When things fall apart...

What do you do

and

what keeps you grounded?

This season has really been exhausting. I sleep with a heavy heart, I wake up tired and I go on a day with fear inside. Though on the outside I may seem to be keeping up well with life, on the inside; I am shattered. These pieces of me seem to not fit where it should be. I keep searching for the answers... Finally I am able to think straight.

I have asked God why does this keep on happening to me, what does He want me to learn from this situation. I wish I knew the answer to this; but I won’t get tired of asking. Others may think that failures are imperfections. I disagree on that. I believe that everything is created perfectly; that things are the way they are for a greater purpose that we may not see in a micro-view.

"Jesus did not heal those he healed because he saw their condition as imperfect. He healed those he healed because he saw those souls asking for healing as part of their process. He saw the perfection of the process"

I know that others may think that believing in God’s sovereignty and His greater plan is just a mere excuse for a crushed dream. Others may also say that those who are His would automatically live a favored life. Those are false notions. We all experience suffering and pain. It is up to you if you would let it dictate the way you are living. It is okay to cry, it is okay to feel lonely, it is okay to feel the pain... I am not telling you that you have to always think positive because even I can’t do that especially when you are on the verge of drowning in your troubles. But here’s something that you should say to yourself when you are at your lowest...

"It is not struggling that the process proceeds. It is in surrendering that the victory is won"

In the story of Job, the devil even asked permission if he could test Job. God allowed this to  happen for He knew that Job is His. In the same way nothing happens without the approval of God. Nothing in this life is coincidence everything is part of a grand design.

"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other" Ecclesiastes 7:14

Let this be a reminder that whether things don't go the way we thought it would be, God made it happen for a reason. God allowed it to happen because He knows we can get through it and we can only do this with Him.

When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong,

when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal

when my faith is shaken and my heart is broken

and my joy is stolen

GOD I KNOW THAT YOU LIFT ME UP

YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME SEARCHING

This song reminds me of Psalm 46:1-5

"God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth may give way and the mountain fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

GOD IS WITHIN HER, SHE WILL NOT FALL; GOD WILL HELP HER AT BREAK OF DAY"

To answer the question I raised, When things fall apart... I cry. I cry A LOT. Sometimes I don’t even mind where I am, who I’m with. I admit that I am weak that I cannot do this alone. Even words of encouragement from people wouldn't suffice the comfort that I am longing for. And that leads to my answer to the second question, what keeps me grounded? Simply GOD. I cannot imagine how I’d be able to survive this pain without Him. He redirects me to what I should be focusing on. He searches my heart and clears my mind to be able to think straight.

As much as I would like to say that I am okay... I am still in the process of getting there. I know I will be fine whatever happens. And you too, whatever it is you are going through I cannot say that I understand you because every suffering is different from another. Just always keep in mind that God knows what your heart desires.

Waiting Season

Patience is quite rare nowadays. People would always want to get things right away. We tend to settle for whatever is convenient. But have we really thought of what we really want? Or what our heart really wants? Or have we even thought of what God wants for us?

Sometimes we say that we have prayed for things before taking action, but have we really? Maybe we are praying for the things that we want but our prayer seems to be manipulative. Remember that you are not God. Remember, HE IS THE ONE WHO IS IN CONTROL.

Don't rush things that are meant to be appreciated as it blooms. The beauty of the waiting season is something that you should keep in your heart and mind. Always keep in mind that God has always the best intention for us; He has something bigger than what we are asking of Him. Is it too good to be true? Let us put our trust and hope in His plans for us. for He has made everything beautiful in its proper time (Ecclesiastes 3:11) and He promised us that those who hope in me will not be disappointed (Isaiah 49:23)

IN TIMES OF CONFUSION

"I think I'm not meant for this field. I think I'm just pushing myself into something I cannot achieve. I think I should pursue him/her. I think he's the one. I think she's the one." SO MANY QUESTIONS. These are some of the common lines that are overly used. But really... ARE YOU SURE? Did you really think things through? Or probably you've been carried away with the spur of the moment or the superficial things that your eyes have seen or the current feelings that you are drowning into. It is really complicated. I am even guilty of it. But I have promised myself and I promised God that I will never decide without His approval. I don't trust my judgment on this. Only His say will matter. Call to me and I will answer you and tell you  great and unsearchable things that you do not know (Jeremiah 33:3) I pray for a mindset like Jesus. I want to think like Him. I want to have a heart like His.

IN TIMES OF DOUBTS

Let this season strengthen the relationship that you have with God. Our goal is to live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. Wherever we are in our walk with God may we be able to devote everything that we do for His glory. To honor Him through having a pure body and spirit. We cannot do this alone, we can't achieve this by our human strength. "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26) We can never be too busy for God. If it is not your priority then you don't really make time for it.

IN TIMES OF TEMPTATION

As we grow older we are more exposed to what the world has to offer. There's even an easier access to sinning. It seems easier to fall into these wrong patterns; for our mind has been corrupted thinking that when majority does it, it becomes OKAY. Let us not let these mundane events lower our standards of what we deserve. It is still our choice if we'd follow the world's standards knowing what God has promised us. The Lord will guide you always, he will satisfy your needs in as sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden. Like a spring whose waters never fail. (Isaiah 58:11) Let us not use the freedom that we are privileged to have to indulge the desires of the flesh.

MY STAND

1Corinthians 15:10

But by the grace of God I am what I am , and his grace to me was not without effect. I will forever be grateful for the moment that God has rescued me from the rabbit hole that I was in. I am always reminded of where I came from and this isn't something that makes me regret the decisions I made. Because through that rough patch I am what I am now. but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:3) I am humbled that He chose to rescue me that time, that I am now His treasured possession. Because of this, I am not going to let anything or anyone sway me. For I am fully His. I will commit fully to the work of the Lord because my labor is not in vain. BELIEVE. For if their purpose is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop those men; you will only find yourselves fighting with God. (Acts 5;38) Believe when you know your stand is rooted in God's standards, it will not fail. If this is the will of God for you, claim that it will happen in the proper time. GOD'S TIME. 

Appreciate the Waiting Season for it is the time when you are being shaped by God to be the person you are in Christ.

Why I like Valentine's Day

Valentine's Season would pass as one of my favorite events in a year. Not because I have a date (well actually I don't date but I get to spend it yearly with friends) but this season makes everyone so vocal about LOVE. It's the season wherein you'll hear people talking about how they want to make someone feel special in their own way and being thankful to their loved ones. BUUUT that is not actually the reason why I love this season; I actually fancy this time because it makes everyone think about love itself. Before, I realized that I was just in love in the idea of love that is depicted by media or you might not even admit or notice it but the "love" that is urged by selfishness. but as I grew older I have come to realize what love really is and these verses would suffice what your mind's asking for:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES"
1Corinthians 13:4-6

After reading that, why don't we assess ourselves and think deeply DO WE REALLY KNOW HOW TO LOVE? Have we ever achieved every single point that was written?

Last month as I was preparing for our VGroup's topic: Guarding Your Heart there was a part about God's unconditional love for us. Then it came to my mind about the popular line in the movie Perks of Being a Wallflower. (Funny how my other friends thought about it too when we gathered together, anyway...)

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

But in God's love... NOPE

WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE DO NOT DESERVE

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us"
Romans 5:8

SINNERS that's who we are but He loves us anyway. For how many times have we sinned against Him and for how many times have we disregarded His grace. Everytime we run back to Him He takes us arms open wide that's how much He loves us. Having a relationship means that you care about how the other person feels. Just like having a relationship with Him; He loves us unconditionally and in return we don't want to hurt Him so we try our best everyday to become a better person to glorify His name.


So this Valentine's Day I would like to just say that Jesus, thank You. For this life, for every chance you give me to become a better version of myself. I love You :)

There are also some people that I would like to honor; my parents. Mom and Dad, thank you for being my inspiration even when I was little I admired the love that you have for each other. Because of you I even then believed that a love as strong as yours are for real. Despite the distance and all of your differences, you love each other anyway... always. I am really blessed to have you as my parents and thank you for being patient with me, soon enough it will be my turn to take care of both of you.

To my friends, whom I yearly spend Valentine's Day with. More Valentine's Day to come!!! I'm perfectly happy to be able to enjoy this day with you guys. I just hope to those who are still going through a rough patch that you may be able to hold on to God and let Him heal your hearts and may you continue not to lose hope in being content with what you already have. Remember you are loved!

Lastly to my future love, if you ever exist I would just like to tell you that you won't be my number one priority. Because God will always be the first :) and please be patient because I'm still a work in progress and there are dreams that I would like to fulfill first.

HAPPY HEART'S DAY!