When things fall apart...
What do you do
and
what keeps you grounded?
This season has really been exhausting. I sleep with a heavy
heart, I wake up tired and I go on a day with fear inside. Though on the
outside I may seem to be keeping up well with life, on the inside; I am
shattered. These pieces of me seem to not fit where it should be. I keep
searching for the answers... Finally I am able to think straight.
I have asked God why does this keep on happening to me, what
does He want me to learn from this situation. I wish I knew the answer to this;
but I won’t get tired of asking. Others may think that failures are
imperfections. I disagree on that. I believe that everything is created
perfectly; that things are the way they are for a greater purpose that we may
not see in a micro-view.
"Jesus did not heal those he healed because he saw their condition as imperfect. He healed those he healed because he saw those souls asking for healing as part of their process. He saw the perfection of the process"
I know that others may think that believing in God’s
sovereignty and His greater plan is just a mere excuse for a crushed dream. Others may also say that those who are His would automatically live a favored life.
Those are false notions. We all experience suffering and pain. It is up to you
if you would let it dictate the way you are living. It is okay to cry, it is
okay to feel lonely, it is okay to feel the pain... I am not telling you that
you have to always think positive because even I can’t do that especially when
you are on the verge of drowning in your troubles. But here’s something that
you should say to yourself when you are at your lowest...
"It is not struggling that the process proceeds. It is in surrendering that the victory is won"
In the story of Job, the devil even asked permission if he
could test Job. God allowed this to
happen for He knew that Job is His. In the same way nothing happens
without the approval of God. Nothing in this life is coincidence everything is part
of a grand design.
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other" Ecclesiastes 7:14
Let this be a reminder that whether things don't go the way we thought it would be, God made it happen for a reason. God allowed it to happen because He knows we can get through it and we can only do this with Him.
When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong,
when the pain is real, when it's hard to heal
when my faith is shaken and my heart is broken
and my joy is stolen
GOD I KNOW THAT YOU LIFT ME UP
YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME SEARCHING
This song reminds me of Psalm 46:1-5
"God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth may give way and the mountain fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
GOD IS WITHIN HER, SHE WILL NOT FALL; GOD WILL HELP HER AT BREAK OF DAY"
To answer the question I raised, When things fall apart... I cry. I cry A LOT. Sometimes I don’t even mind where I am, who I’m with. I admit that I am weak that I cannot do this alone. Even words of encouragement from people wouldn't suffice the comfort that I am longing for. And that leads to my answer to the second question, what keeps me grounded? Simply GOD. I cannot imagine how I’d be able to survive this pain without Him. He redirects me to what I should be focusing on. He searches my heart and clears my mind to be able to think straight.
As much as I would like to say that I am okay... I am still in the process of getting there. I know I will be fine whatever happens. And you too, whatever it is you are going through I cannot say that I understand you because every suffering is different from another. Just always keep in mind that God knows what your heart desires.
